On Sunday, we headed towards the Grand Teton National Park where we planned to hike similar trails that Jason and I hiked on our trip. I had written the names of trails and waterfalls down in my scrapbook so this allowed me to make sure we were going to the right places. That morning I prayed and asked God to just show me exactly where I needed to let him go. Driving there, I really had no idea where that would be. I just had peace that I'd know once I saw it.
We spent a large part of the day hiking and enjoying a break from the crazy Texas heat. We hiked up and down trails....and we even ran into a moose on our path. That was pretty cool. We hiked up to waterfalls and just took in every bit of the beauty that was before us. I felt completely in His grip that day.
I came across a neat bridge with a creek running through it. It had a small area for us to stand that was off the beaten path and I knew it would be a perfect place to spread the ashes. I let his sister and dad go first while I took some pictures. Then it was my turn. I had prayed over his ashes that morning in my room and I still managed to feel really connected to Jason. I knelt down and poured him into the water. Obviously I had already let the physical Jason go 9 months ago but this was symbolic for me because I was letting go of him, of that life, of that part of my heart, of the guilt I've carried for wanting to move forward and live life, and all the other things that have weighed on my heart since he died. I felt a huge amount of sadness but I also felt free. I fully gave myself permission to say goodbye that day.
Hannah and I wore our "red shirt stand up" shirts that were made in his honor.
The bridge (located on the way to Inspiration Point at Jenny Lake)
8 comments:
What a beautiful way to find some closure in such a difficult situation. I'm grateful that you were able to go and have that experience, as hard as it must have been. I think of you often and have you in my prayers. Sending lots of love your way!
oh my, kinda a big deal! i'm glad you felt so guided through it all. i admire how you're handling every aspect of this. not saying you make it look easy..... at all, just that i think you're goin about it all the right way!
I think I'll just say ditto to the above comments from Ang and SheriJane...that's exactly what I wanted to express from my heart but wish I was more eloquent with words! Thinking of you often!
Oh Jennifer, I couldn't keep dry eyes while reading this. I know how difficult this journey has been for you. Still in my prayers until the day you tell me to stop.
The pictures are beautiful! I am sure Jason was with all of you on your trip. All of you are still in my prayers so much.
You do not know me, I hope you do not mind a comment from a stranger. I stumbled across your blog and have been so inspired by your courage and faith. May you have continued peace though your journey. My prayers are with you and your precious children.
beautiful post :)
Tears streaming down my cheek for you right now. Tears of sadness, that you had to let him go, tears of joy that God has given you strength, and that you have allowed yourself to find peace and freedom. Love you girl! Always praying!
Post a Comment